desperation
by a beautiful catastrophe
Summary: All you can do is helplessly watch as everyone and everything you've ever loved is taken away from you. Unless you fight. To fight monsters, we created monsters of our own. —raleigh/oc
1. tears and apologies

**prologue — **_tears and apologies_

The doorbell rings.

_At this time? Really?_ I think, letting out a sigh. I run a hand through my hair to try and untangle any knots. _It's probably Amelia, seeing as no one else would come so late._

I walk to the door and unlock it, before turning the door knob.

"Hey." It's not Amelia.

"Raleigh." I say and offer him the best smile I can muster at the moment. A weak one.

It has to be _Raleigh bloody Becket _out of all people.

Yancy's younger brother. _Oh god._ He looks so much like Yancy. _Yancy_. He has the same eyes and most his facial features are the same and- I'm starting to tear up. I want to throw my arms around him and make him tell me everything will be alright and-

_Stop_, I chatise myself. _He's not Yancy._

Raleigh is soaked, his clothes are drenched from the rain outside and his hair is dripping.

"Dollie." He greets me. "You probably don't want me to come in - I mean, it's terribly late and I'm soaking, I can come back tomorrow if you want-"

"Nah, it's okay." I cut him off. "I just wasn't expecting you - I though you were my sister, um, Amelia, but anyway, come in."

"Are you sure?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

I nod. "Come in, before I change my mind."

I make a gesture for him to come inside, and he walks inside, before waiting awkwardly as I close the door to stop the rain from coming in.

I lead him to the living room and gesture for him to sit down on the sofa. Hesitantly, he sits down.

"What brings you here?" I ask him, although deep inside I already know. A feeling of dread rises with the bile in my throat, and I swallow it back down.

"Straight to business, hm?" He asks lightly, but I can see pain in his eyes. He dreads saying what he has to say, just as I dread hearing it.

I nod. Between me and Raleigh, it's all tight lipped smiles and pain. Better now than never.

"I just wanted to let you know that _Yancy's gone_." The last two words are like a slap in the face and I almost miss when he adds, "I'm sorry."

"I know. I saw it on the news two weeks ago." I feel tears beginning to blur my vision — I'm about to cry. "I'm sorry too."

"I would've come earlier to tell you the news, but I was—"

"You don't have to explain anything to me." I cut him off.

There is an awful silence between us, neither of us know what to say. _What do we say? What is there to say? What can we say? _

"He loved you, you know." Raleigh says quietly, breaking the silence.

"He loved you as well. You were his brother." I manage to get out, and I'm crying because _oh, Yancy, Yancy, Yancy, why did you leave me? Why did you have to go? I loved you. I love you._

He nods, and just says, "God, Dollie, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I whisper, but I can't help but think, _why Yancy and not Raleigh instead? Why couldn't Raleigh have been the one to go?_

"I wanted to save him. I wanted it to be me instead. I tried, and I'm so sorry." He exhales deeply and closes his eyes.

I say nothing. Tears keep falling.

"I'll just go now." Raleigh's never been the comforting type.

"It was lovely of you to stop by," I choke out, and he shoots me a look that reads _yeah right._

I shut my eyes, and press my face into my hands. I hear footsteps, the turn of the doorknob. More footsteps.

By the time I open my eyes, Raleigh's no where in sight.

* * *

**a/n: **um hi. this is going to be a raleigh/oc because after the movie, i kind of saw mako and raleigh as more of a bromance rather than a romantic ship so yeah. don't kill me. /runs for shelter

just to clear things up, first of all, dollie is a nickname for the oc - her name's not actually dollie. her real name will be mentioned in the next chapter. second, this prologue will be the only chapter pre-movie, from the next chapter and onwards, it'll be post-movie. third, this doesn't follow canon, so if you are a stickler for canon, this probably isn't for you. fourth, dollie was yancy's girlfriend (/cries bc yancy) and raleigh was never close with her really.

thank you for reading, and please take a minute to review!


	2. the girl with the lion tattoo

**chapter one **— _the girl with the lion tattoo_

"Sash, what do you think of my new tattoo?" I ask, attempting to peel off the corner of the bandage that covers my newly healed tattoo.

"How many tattoos do you even have?" Sasha raises an eyebrow from the other side of the room. "About ten thousand now?"

"This is only my fourth one," I say, rolling my eyes, but I can't help but laugh. "I don't have _that_ many."

"Tendo thinks you're going to turn into one of those people that mug unsuspecting victims in dark alleyways, you know." She snickers. "I mean, Nat, you can't blame him. You dyed your hair blue, you got a nose piercing, and now you have three tattoos."

"Is he scared?" I smirk.

"Ask him yourself." She shrugs. "Anyway, what did you get a tattoo of this time?"

"I was just going to show you, actually." I say, tugging at the bandage. It's not coming off. I pull it harder, and _finally_, it comes off.

"A lion." Sasha smiles approvingly at it. "What does the word underneath the lion say? I can't read it properly from here. It probably says something rude, knowing you."

"If you find the word _warrior_ rude, then sure." I shrug.

"Warrior. That's fitting." She nods, and I smile.

I may not be the best fighter when it came to my punch and kick, but when it came to the piloting of _Mammoth Apostle_, I was the best damned warrior Los Angeles had ever seen.

* * *

"So, Ten," I sing-song, "I hear that you're scared of the big bad Natalie."

"Who told you that?" Tendo asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"Sasha, of course." As soon as I finish my sentence, he smiles amusedly.

"I told her that you were going to turn into a robber, or something, not that I was scared of you. If I was scared of you, I wouldn't be talking to you now." He says.

"Well, maybe she didn't _exactly_ say that, but I got the impression." I admit.

He rolls his eyes. "You didn't interpret what Sasha said right, then. And anyway, I would only be scared of you if we weren't frieds and encountered each other in a dark alleyway."

"Whatever." I say. Then I poke his cheek just because I feel like it.

"Nat!" he exclaims.

"Sorry, not sorry." I laugh. "I couldn't resist."

"Ugh." he complains, before unexpectedly poking my cheek back. "Now we're even."

"Ew!" I exclaim. "Gross! I swear there's something on your fingers."

"Now you know how I felt." He smirks.

"Ugh, ugh and ugh." I wipe my cheek with my hand.

"Did you know that an old pilot's coming back? I'm not sure if you know him, but I think you do. He was a Mark 3 pilot." Tendo says conversationally.

"I thought all of the Mark 3 pilots were dead." I frown. On second thought, there's Raleigh Becket if he's still alive. And thinking about Raleigh—

_Yancy. What if it's Yancy maybe he's_—_ don't be stupid, he's gone. Yancy._

Surely there must be more Mark 3 pilots alive than just one. Surely it's not just Raleigh.

"No, actually. One of them is still alive." One of them. That means that Raleigh's the only Mark 3 pilot left. That's can't be right. It just _can't_. He _can't_ be the only one left. "If you and him are Drift compatible, he'll probably be your partner in combat — we're fixing up Gipsy Danger, a Mark 3, because we have an insufficient amount of Jaegers. You've only piloted _Mammoth Apostle_ which was a Mark 4, so we're calling in someone who's experienced being in a Mark 3 to help you. The Marshall's actually getting him now. They'll arrive later today."

Tendo had unknowingly hit a sore spot.

_Mammoth Apostle_.

Mammoth Apostle had been the Jaeger I had piloted back when the Los Angeles Shatterdome has still been up and going. My co-pilot had been my sister, Amelia. _Had been_. She had died shortly after we had finished fighting a Kaiju in late 2024 — it had been a rough battle and we had gotten an uncountable amount of burns, scrapes and bruises. One of Amelia's burns had gotten infected, and no antibiotics had been strong enough to fight against the infection without making it worse — her body wasn't strong enough to withstand a lot of medicine without her puking it back up.

She had died two days after the battle.

And it had hurt me.

Broken me.

It still haunts me today. It had been like Yancy's death all over again.

Mammoth had been terribly damaged by the Kaiju — it had been so utterly unrepairable that it had to be taken to Oblivion Bay — where the ruins of broken Jaegers lay.

After the twentieth of December when the Los Angeles Shatterdome had closed down, I had been relocated to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, however I didn't have a partner or Jaeger assigned to me yet, and still don't.

Whoever this Mark 3 pilot — hopefully not Raleigh — is my ladder to being back in a Jaeger. I hope we are Drift compatible. I really hope we are. Because I want _revenge_. For Yancy. For Amelia.

Even though Yancy's been gone for four years, and Amelia's been gone for a month, I still miss them. Badly.

And anyway, if I just stand around and watch, what good will that be? What good will watching the world go to ash and dust and _ruins_? I will not go down without a fight. I will not go down without avenging their deaths.

"Who is this Mark 3 pilot, anyway?" I ask, trying to keep the dark tone out of my voice. _It can't be Raleigh. It can't be Raleigh. Please don't let it be—_

"His name is _Raleigh Becket_."

Dear God.

"_Raleigh Becket?_" I ask slowly, making sure I'm not mishearing things. _Please tell me I'm mishearing things. Please let it be anyone else on God's green earth apart from Raleigh._

"Yeah, Raleigh. You know him?" he asks casually, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Oh, I know him." I say, a sour taste welling up in my mouth.

My wish has been granted in the worst way possible — I do get to fight my revenge, as Raleigh will most likely be Drift compatible with me because of Yancy. On the other hand, I'll be fighting and Drifting with Raleigh. I'll be spilling all my secrets and memories to him and he'll see everything I don't want him to see — everything I've ever wanted to hide.

"You alright?" Tendo asks concernedly, watching my facial expression morph from one of pain to one of nonchalance.

"Fine." I lie, and act like nothing's wrong.

_I'm not fine in the least._

* * *

**a/n: **the oc's name is nat/natalie, just in case you somehow didn't manage to pick that up. you can probably tell that nat isn't looking forward to raleigh's arrival because raleigh reminds nat that yancy's gone.

um. idk what to say. i wished that tendo and the kaidanovsky's had more screen time, so i wrote sasha in as nat's best friend (aleksis will come in later on for sure) and tendo as a friend who acts like your older brother that you love to annoy c:

thank you for all the reviews and i would love if you took a minute to review! critique is definitely welcome c:


	3. if you could see me now

**chapter two —** _if you could see me now_

I tie up my hair with the elastic on my wrist and look at myself in the mirror. I frown. When my hair is tied up, it makes my face look unproportionate — I look like one of those bobblehead dolls with a head too big for the body. I pull out the elastic and slide it back onto my wrist and check what I look like again.

My face looks more narrow than before with my hair cascading beside my face and down my shoulders until my mid back.

Letting out a sigh, I open the door. I don't want to leave the safety of my room, but I know I have to. I walk out, and shut the door behind me.

As I walk down the hallway, I see Mako.

"Mako," I greet her. She opens her mouth to say something, but honestly, I don't really care what she's going to say, so I continue. She seems unfazed. "do you know where Stacker is?"

"I think he's with Raleigh Becket again. You know, the old Mark 3 pilot. They came back yesterday, and we haven't had much time to show him around. Anyway, I'm not quite sure, but try your luck in the Science Lab? Sorry, I have no clue." Mako shrugs apologetically.

Well, now I know that Stacker's with Raleigh, I'm not talking to Stacker until he's alone. Or Raleigh's not there. And that I have to stay away from the Science Lab.

I nod, and make my way to the Combat Room instead, and the room is empty just as I'd hoped.

I walked to the other end of the room where a pile of training supplies sits — from weights to yoga mats. I search through the pile and pull out a pair of boxing gloves and before heading for the punching bag.

I pull both gloves on, and with a smile, I throw my first punch for today.

_Thud. _My hand hits the punching bag, and I watch as it slowly sinks into the thick material, like a foot stepping into sand. _Thud. Punch. Punch. Thud._

I wonder what Yancy would think of me if he saw me now. If Yancy saw me now, he'd probably ask me who the fuck I was. What the hell did I think I was doing. He'd tell me being in the PPDC was dangerous and I should quit. Stay safe.

God, I'd changed so much since he left me. Things would've definitely been different if he was here today — maybe I'd be less fucked up. Less cold-hearted. Less of a bitch. More of the girl I used to be.

_Punch._

Maybe if he hadn't left me I'd still laugh and smile like I meant it. Maybe if he hadn't had been killed, he'd have broken up with me. God, that story would've been so much better than my life right now — at least he would still be _alive_. I would have been heartbroken and devastated, and I would have cried myself to sleep for that week, but I'd be okay by the next month. He'd be _alive_. Alive.

_Punch. Thud. Punch._

I would have been able to fall in love again. I would've continued to doll myself up. I would've been the same again — I would've picked myself up after the fall. I would've been who I used to be.

And even though I like my present self better than my past self, I would do anything to make that could have been story my past instead of what I got. Because at least Yancy would still be _alive_. I would do anything for him to be alive again even if it meant my own unhappiness. The things people do for love. The things _I_ do for love.

_Thud. Punch._

When you love someone and they leave you, I don't think you ever really lose them. They're still are a part of you even if they've been long gone.

Yancy's been gone since four years ago. Amelia's been gone since a month ago. Both of them are still hold a special place in my heart.

And they'll never leave.

That's both a blessing and a curse — I'll never forget them and how strong my love for them is, but the pain of their absence will live in me forever. At every and any mention of them my their will be a pang of pain in my heart, and a deep and hollow longing.

_Punch. Thud. Thud._

That's why I don't want to see Raleigh. He reminds me of Yancy. He looks so much like Yancy. They have the same messy blonde hair. The same effortless smile.

But their eyes are different.

Yancy's used to be like the sky on a clear summer day. Calm and serene. Kind and understanding. Raleigh's, on the other hand, were like the ocean during the storm. Electric and piercing, like thunder and heavy rain.

But nevertheless, they look similar. And Raleigh will always look like Yancy no matter how hard I want him to look like someone else.

I hear thudding. Not from my fists against the punching bag, but footsteps. I throw one last punch at the bag before turning around to face the people who have entered the once empty room.

I see Stacker and Ya— Raleigh, standing a metre from where I stand.

_How can you mistake Raleigh for Yancy?_ I inwardly scold myself.

"Becket, this is Natalie Wilson, one of our finest and most experienced Jaeger pilots." Stacker says. I throw a smile at Stacker, because praise from Stacker is rare — he never really compliments anyone much, although if you're a good pilot or technician, really, there's no need for praise because you know it.

Then I throw a cold look in Raleigh's direction, because God, he does look like Yancy and it's making me hurt. A wave of déjà vu hits me — the last time I met him, something along the lines of this happened.

When I close my eyes to blink, all I can see is a blur of Yancy and it brings tears to my eyes. I make it look like I've got an eyelash stuck in my eye, and wipe the flood of tears away.

_You're not the same girl anymore,_ I remind myself. _You don't cry. Dollie cried. Nat doesn't._

"Dollie." Raleigh says. His eyes flick over me as if he can't believe what he's seeing.

"They don't call me that anymore, Raleigh." I say coldly. _I'm not the doll I used to be. I'm not Dollie anymore_.

"I can see why. You've changed. A lot, obviously." He says pointedly.

"And you haven't changed a bit." I tell him. _You're still an arrogant jerk. And the brother of my long gone boyfriend, _I want to add.

"I see you two know each other." Stacker says, obviously noticing the tension in the air between us.

"Yeah." Raleigh confirms. "Last time I saw her was a couple of years ago. She used to wear dresses. And high-heels. She used to look like a doll. The innocent facade is gone, now."

"Things changed." I say, biting my lip. I need to calm down. He's riling me up.

"How's Amelia?" he asks.

I'm bite down on my lip so hard that I'm drawing blood and I want to cry out in pain. I see Stacker frown — he obviously wants us to get along. "She's gone." I choke out, before attempting regaining my composure. My glare is so intense, I swear if looks could kill, he'd be gone already. "But _you_ wouldn't have known that."

I don't intend for it to come out so harsh — but really, I don't care at this moment. He brought up Amelia. _Amelia_. He split open healing wounds. I feel like spitting out _How's Yancy?_ because I am so fucking pissed off at him. He's venturing into dangerous waters. On my own personal turf.

"I'm sorry." he says with a seemingly sincere expression. He probably doesn't mean it. He _doesn't_ mean it. He _can't_ mean it.

I'm about to spit out a retort, when Stacker sends me a reproachful look. I narrow my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.

"Enough with the small talk and kitty fighting. I want you two to meet me back here in two hours, understand? We have some tests to be taken care of." Stacker's words are forceful and almost commanding, as if he's trying to keep us in line.

Those "tests" he refers to are obviously drift compatibility tests. I'm _not_ looking forward to them at all.

"Yes sir," I say gritting my death.

"Yes sir," Raleigh says as well, but his response comes out easier than mine.

"Permission to be dismissed, sir?" I ask, a sour expression coming over my face.

Stacker studies my face hard. "Permission granted."

* * *

**a/n: **this was strongly inspired by _if you could see me now_ by the script which is definitely one of my favourite songs. what did you think of nat and raleigh's conversation? reading the chapter over myself, i'm actually pretty proud of the convo, i think it conveys the tenseness of the situation well enough. you may have a different opinion though, and i'm really curious to see what you think.

thank you for all the lovely reviews and please take a minute to review — critique and/or advice is most definitely welcome!


	4. it's not fair

**chapter three — **_it's not fair_

I walk out of the combat room. As soon as I turn the corner, I break out into a run.

I don't know where I'm going anymore, and I don't care, _I don't care_. I need some time alone. To think. To mull things over. I know that really, there's no point in doing so, because in about two hours, Raleigh will know what's been going on in my brain.

As I run, the nails on my right hand dig into the skin of my palm. I feel them sink into the flesh. I don't feel any pain from them like I expected.

I turn another corner. Then another, then one more, before stopping in a hallway and sinking to the floor, my back sliding down against the wall.

I look around at the hallway I've stopped in. There's a room to my left that reads Striker Eureka — obviously that's Herc and Chuck's room — and across the hallway, there's the storage room. I wonder if either Herc or Chuck is in their room, it'd be really awkward if they saw me here. Really _really_ awkward.

I rest my head against the wall, pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I let out a frustrated sigh.

What do I do?

How can I stop myself from getting angry or breaking down every time I see Raleigh? What can I do to stop him from getting to me? How?

I don't know.

What would _Yancy_ do?

Yancy wouldn't get angry or break down every time he saw Raleigh. Raleigh's his brother. Yancy's the reason why I get pissed off at Raleigh anyway. It's all his fucking fault. _Raleigh_ was the one who killed Yancy. Raleigh could have been the one to go, but he didn't. _Yancy_ went instead. And he thinks he can fucking show up like everything's perfectly fine and okay and cause pain for everyone else.

Just as my cuts were healing, he decides to pull the stitches from them and make them bleed.

It's not fair.

_It's not fucking fair at all._

Raleigh ruined _everything_. Everything. Everything I've ever worked for, ever loved, everything I've ever wanted or needed — he ruined it all.

I let out a frustrated sob. _Why?_

"Wilson." I hear a voice say my name, and I look up, only to see Chuck standing across the hallway leaning against the opposite wall. _Great_. A smirk is etched across his face and he looks like he wants to laugh.

"Hansen." I say, and shoot him a glare. I seem to be glaring a lot lately.

"What do you want?" he asks me as if I'm not worth his time, as if I'm below him, as if he's too good for me.

"What do _you_ want? That's a better question." I say, adopting the same arrogant tone he used. It doesn't take much effort.

"I want to go into my room." Chuck says impatiently.

"Then go into your room." I tell him with the roll of my eyes. If he wants to go into his room, all he has to do is unlock his door and go in.

"Yeah, but you're here." he says pointedly.

"So?" I shrug.

"Do you know how awkward it would be knowing that you're sitting here outside my door while I'm doing stuff inside? What if I'm going to change my clothes? How do I know you're not going to look in?" Chuck crosses his arms over his chest.

"There's no way for me to look in. You can only see out of the peephole from the inside." I point out. "Go in your room and do whatever you usually do."

"Not until you get lost." he scowls.

"Well, I'm not moving anytime soon, so you'll be waiting here for a while." I make myself clear by lying down on the ground and propping my head up on my hands, elbows against the ground.

"What's your problem, Wilson?" he glares at me.

"At this day and age, Raleigh Becket." I frown. Did I really just say that? To Chuck out of all people?

"You're not the only one with Becket as a problem. He's a deadweight." he says. "I don't know how the Marshall thought bringing him back to the PPDC was a good idea."

"Well, thank God someone knows how I feel. I mean, he killed my—" I stop myself from finishing that sentence. Why am I talking to Chuck about this? Am I really that desperate for someone to talk to? "Nevermind. Why am I talking to you about this?"

"Who did Becket kill?" Chuck ignores my last sentence, and looks at me intently. He's interested.

"Why would I tell you out of all people, Hansen? What makes you think you're so special?" I cock an eyebrow.

"Who did he kill?" he repeats. "Tell me, and I'll tell you a secret of my own."

"Hansen, why on earth would I want to know a secret of yours? I don't care if you've fucked a girl and you dated her and she dumped you. _I don't care_." I tell him.

"My secret has nothing to do with shagging girls. And trust me, you'd want to know this one. So tell me who Becket killed and my secret will become yours to know." I can see that Chuck really wants to know what happened. So I tell him. I can't help it — a girl can only keep something to herself for so long.

"Raleigh didn't kill someone in the way you're thinking. He didn't murder anyone, really. But in my opinion, he did kill." Chuck looks confused. "Look, he killed my boyfriend, the man I was_ in love_ with. He killed his _brother_. They were piloting Gipsy Danger together against Knifehead, and Yancy — that's the name of Raleigh's brother — was ripped out of the Conn-Pod. It could have been Raleigh. Or Raleigh could have saved him, stopped Knifehead. But no, Raleigh didn't stop him and look, well, Yancy's gone."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Chuck looks me in the eye as he says it. His apology seems genuine.

I nod. I want to move on from this subject. "So tell me. Your secret."

A distant look spreads across his face. He looks younger, more fragile. _Vulnerable_. The cocky expression so often seen on his face isn't there. "When I— I was ten, I lived in Sydney. Y'know, in Australia. I was at school when Scissure, one of the first Kaiju's attacked our city. My dad, he only had time to reach either my mum or I before Scissure attacked. He chose me over her." He goes quiet. "Somedays, I wish he had chosen my mum instead."

"Herc saved your life." is all I can say. I never expected Chuck to have such a troubled childhood.

"At the cost of my mother's." He says. "At the cost of his wife's."

"I'm sorry." I manage to get out. "I'm really sorry."

He smiles sadly. "Let's talk about you, now. So are you or were you a Jaeger pilot? Or are you just a mechanic?"

"I was and am Jaeger pilot." I tell him.

"Which Jaeger did you pilot? How many kills?" That sounds more like the Chuck I know. I can hear the desperation for my kill count to be lower than his in his voice.

"Los Angeles's one and only Mark 4 — Mammoth Apostle. Four kills. Mammoth was a beauty." I can hear the longing in my own voice as I talk about Mammoth. She was my Jaeger. _Was_.

"Was?" Chuck questions, raising an eyebrow.

"Mammoth was badly damaged after our fourth kill. The Kaiju was so strong, my sister, Amelia, died two days after." I say, and I feel the corner of my eyes welling up.

"I'm sorry." he says quietly. "Your story is similar to Becket's, actually."

"Not at all. First of all, Raleigh killed Yancy. I did _not_ kill Amelia. She died from severe infection." A tear begins to fall, but I wipe it away. I don't want Chuck to see. "Second, after she— she passed on, I didn't become a recluse and work on the stupid Anti-Kaiju Wall. I wanted to get back into a Kaiju no matter how much I missed Amelia. I still want to. It's my duty as a pilot."

"You're dedicated." he studies my face. "You take your job seriously."

"Of course I do — the only place I'd ever want to die in during is this war is in a Jaeger." I say. Because it's true.

"I respect people like you." Chuck says. It's a compliment for sure — Chuck barely ever compliments anyone. Or talks to them in a civilized manner like he's talked to me today. It's a miracle, really.

I shoot him a small smile as a _thank you._ "What time is it?" I ask. "How long have we been here?"

"Dunno." he shrugs. "An hour? An hour and a half?"

"Time flies." I say. He nods. "I'd better get going, Stacker's expecting me soon."

"Okay." he says. "I'll catch you later? I mean, what are we even now? Acquaintances?" A flicker of uncertainty flashes over his face.

"I'd use the word _friends_. You should try it sometime." I say with a smile. "See you."

He smiles back.

* * *

I make my way to the combat room. I can tell by the time I get there, Raleigh and Stacker will already be there.

And I'm right — the first thing I see when I push open the door is an impatient Stacker and Raleigh. I bite my lip. _Don't cry, Nat. Ignore him. Ignore that deadweight._

"You're late, Miss Wilson." the Marshall says impatiently.

"I had things to do, people to say," I tell him dismissively. "What's being a couple of minutes late going to do?"

"Each minute we— no, _you_, waste is a second loser to the next Kaiju attack. We want as many teams as we possibly can set and ready for the next attack — what if it's a Category _5_? Do you not care about the future of our world, Miss Wilson?" His voice is sharp. "We have no time to waste, these days."

"Point taken, sir." I nod._ Get yourself together,_ I reprimand myself.

"I'm glad you understand." He looks at me approvingly, before tossing me a bamboo stick which is identical to the one that the Marshall tosses to Raleigh.

I let out a groan. "_Stick fighting_, Marshall? Really? Out of all ways to test our compatibility, _stick fighting_?" I hate stick fighting, and Stacker knows. It pisses me off — I prefer fighting with swords or fencing.

"What's wrong with stick fighting?" Raleigh speaks. I look at the ground to stop myself from meeting his eyes, which will only piss me off more. Cause me more pain.

"If it were any other day, Wilson, I would've let you chosen what kind of weapon you were to use. But today, it's the guest's choice." Stacker ignores Raleigh.

"_Guest_?" I let out an incredulous laugh. "You mean _veteran_. He's not new to this process — he went through the academy too."

"We'll be using bamboo sticks to fight today, and that is _final_." Discussion over, he means.

"Fine." I roll my eyes. "Get prepared to have your ass kicked, Becket."

"Don't get cocky." is all he says. He sounds like Yancy and— no. I will _not_ let him make me weak. I will _not_ lose this. That bastard.

I say nothing, and walk to my side of the room. I hold onto my stick with both hands, and brace myself for his attack. He doesn't move. Instead, he surveys my stance and waits. I frown. My opponent usually makes the first move. They _always_ do.

Then he charges.

_I'm not wrong. I'm never wrong_, I think with a smile.

He aims for my ribs, and tries to drive his stick into my torso, but I block him from doing so. I push him back with my stick, and he tries to push me back. It doesn't work. I push the stick harder, and _thud,_ he's on the ground, with my stick pointed at his throat.

"1 — 0. A little rusty, Becket?" I taunt him. He doesn't react — he doesn't show a trace of emotion or say a word.

I position my stick again. Grasping it with both hands, I bend my knees in a defensive stance. He won't be able to knock be over if I'm standing like this — my feet are firmly planted to the ground. Raleigh looks at me with a frown. He's not rusty — he's studying the way I fight so he can gain the upper hand. I can't let him do that, so I make the first move.

_Slam_. My stick hits his, and it's up against his throat in no more than two seconds. He looks surprised — he's been taken off guard.

"2 — 0. Becket, do a bitch a favour and don't fucking pretend that you can't fight. I don't care if you're bloody mulling over my technique — Kaiju's don't stop for you, so neither should I. I don't care if you think I'm just a stupid airhead of a girl. Treat me like I'm a fucking monster. Fight me like you'd fight a Kaiju." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Language, Miss Wilson," I hear Stacker call. We ignore him.

"Fine, then. As you wish, m'lady." Raleigh bows mockingly.

I take a few steps back, and run up to him, attempting to land a blow on his upper chest. _Thud_. He blocks me. I swing my stick back, and as soon as I try to hit him, he dodges me by slipping behind my arm and presses his stick against the back of my neck.

"2 — 1." I hear him say. "How do you feel about that, princess? You sure you don't want to me to treat you like a doll?"

"Fuck off," I mutter under my breath, only loud enough for Raleigh to hear. I see an arrogant smile cross his face and I want to wipe it off this instant.

I crouch down, and wedge my stick behind his right leg. He hasn't noticed. I pull my stick forward, and he trips over. I stand up and point my stick at his chest.

"3 — 1. " I say smugly, and he groans.

As soon as I'm about to turn my back on him to walk further away, he uses his stick to disarm me, and points both the sticks at me. He smiles in satisfaction. And he reminds me of Yancy again. "3 — 2." _I can't let him get to me. Stop losing focus — you're getting distracted._

I get up and he tosses me the stick back to me. I catch it, and grasp it in both of my hands.

_Thud_. His stick hits mine. I resist the urge to withdraw my stick and use it to hit his face. Instead, I swing it back, and I'm about to hit his chest, when he blocks me. I hit him again. He blocks me again and tries to hit me, but I duck, and try to sweep my stick under his feet. He jumps, and at the same time, manages to knock my stick out of my hands.

"3 — 3." He cocks his head. "Looks like we're even."

"That's enough." I hear the Marshall say. We drop our sticks, and he looks at us both hard. "I thought that you two were Drift compatible before you fought each other, but I wanted to confirm that I was right. And I was. Come with me, we're going to boot Gipsy Danger up for a test run. See if you two actually work well in a Jaeger."

"Okay. Right." I manage to say, clasping my hands together. _Fuck_.

* * *

**a/n: **here is some chuck love because chuck is perf. even though throughout most of the movie he was a(n amazingly hot just misunderstood) jerk who wasn't very open with his emotions, idk, but i always thought that chuck would be on good terms/friends with most of the other rangers despite how cocky and arrogant and 'i'm too good for you' he was.

um this is non pacific rim, but has anyone seen _now you see me_? bc **oHMYGOD** I WILL GO DOWN WITH THE SHIP DAN/HENLEY OKAY. pm me if you have and we can fangirl together. asdfghjklasfhasfjjh

so back on topic, next chapter includes a lot of drama and i'll-punch-you-in-the-face-ness c: thank you for all the reviews, and please review if you want the next chapter to come faster — reviews are my motivation, really.

bree xx


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